Lessons learned

For someone, such as myself, who is learning how to live life on a daily basis, I find it helps to show others how to do so when I can.  As I find myself comforting a friend going through a rough time I managed to help a family member learn something new.  In my family, it has been common practice to help each other too much.  Historically, the help has become too much.  With that help comes dependence.  When someone helps you too much to where you can no longer figure something out for yourself then that becomes a problem.  Showing a person how to do something is a difficult thing.  It is my nature (experience in upbringing) and profession to show people how to do things.  I find myself frustrated at times that someone can not figure out something that I see as common knowledge.  It is in that moment that I have to remind myself that not everyone has been taught how to think for their self.  I know I wasn't taught that.  I was taught that you do (x) this way and that is it.  I was never encouraged to ask questions.  If I did ask questions I was always told "because I said so".  When I did ask questions about how to do something and asked to be shown, the person teaching would get frustrated with me and end up doing it for me.  That allowed a learned behavior to occur.  I learned that if I ask enough questions maybe, just maybe, someone will get sick of telling me how to do it and they will just do it for me.  Well, now that I am aware of that I try to pass that knowledge on to another family member or client whichever the case may be.  Point them in the right direction and let them figure it out.  Problem solving is new to many and new to me.  I am learning to deal with what comes at me on a daily basis.  It might be something that sucks royally but ultimately I know that it is up to me, and only me, to figure out how to make it work for me.  I may need to ask questions but I will find answers on my own now.  So, I say all this to bring it back around to how I helped a family member.  This particular family member is a young adult and has also had everything done for her, her entire life.  I took the opportunity to teach her something when she asked me directions to a place I go to often.  I told her where to go to find the information she needed and that was it.  She continued to ask me questions about this and that and I kept referring her back to the original source I had given her.  Meanwhile, I went to the same source I had given her and found exactly what she needed quickly.  A few more questions were asked but she eventually found it on her own.  During that discovery I could tell that she learned something new and she was grateful for my help.  With my friend that is going through a rough time I have to remind myself that there are things that must be learned by this person.  It is not my job to tell him/her how to get through this.  If I did, then the person would not have learned something.  It would again be fostering dependence.  I am stepping back to let my friend figure it out on his/her own.  I don't like to see a friend hurting but feeling that pain is important so that it can be remembered when a new hurdle comes along.

Something that made me smile today

After doing some research on this little guy, I have found that he IS as cool as I thought he was.  I grew up with the Peanuts gang and watched all the holiday specials.  I've learned that the reason I enjoy Peanuts so much is largely attributed to Snoopy & Woodstock.  I love the relationship between the two characters.  I can look at a picture of one or the both of them and begin to giggle.  They make me laugh.  They always have and I believe that is why he and Snoopy are so cool.  They make me laugh. 

And the beat goes on...

I find myself feeling a little let down today.  I had a good plan laid out this morning and I accomplished everything I set out to do.  I was sure that once I sat down and worked on my budget and financials that all would feel right with the world.  Well, all does not feel right with the world.  I discovered (while creating my budget) I had neglected certain verbal agreements. Regardless of my intent or lack of intent I had failed to meet an obligation.  Therein lay the feelings of let down.  I've let myself down and another and that works my nerve.  How do I make this right?  I feel confined by certain obligations made to, shall I say, "legal parties".  And not so confined by certain verbal obligations that I've made. I have always wanted to keep to my word on things I say I'm going to do.  But I discriminate between those obligations that have legal ramifications and those that have personal ramifications.  I know that is wrong and I don't know how to find a balance between satisfying each of these obligations.

I do not like the feeling of taking advantage of a situation to satisfy my needs alone.  That is selfish and unfair to another person involved.  This is an opportunity to learn how to make this right.  I am at a loss; however, as to how to do so.  So for now, for the sake of my sanity I shall put this dilemma to rest.  I will revisit it once I have had time to reflect and get feedback by those opinions that I respect.  I know I'm not a bad person but I know I can be a better person.  The answer is out there somewhere and I will find it.

Daily wisdom

In spending time with family and friends I have noticed certain behaviors that are common among children and behaviors that are common among parents.  One thing I've noticed is that children hear everything.  So parents, be careful what you say around them.  Once a person becomes a parent all freedom and preferences take a backseat.  Your life is not your own anymore.  For those that are reading and do not have children but want them please think through that decision. What is your real reason for wanting children?  Too many times the reason is the wrong one. Once the child is born, you are responsible to raise a human being that will be able to become a responsible adult.  So, having said that, all your insecurities that you have may not be insecurites your children share.  Allow your child to make mistakes.  Allow your child to play in mud puddles and play with bubbles and get as messy as they can.  That is what they are supposed to be doing.  Do not stifle their curiosity by telling them they can not do something.  Nourish that curiosity and allow those curiosities to be explored.

I say all of this from personal experience.  I share all of this in the hope that a person reading this will pick something out of the post that speaks to them in some way.  I hope I do not sound preachy.  That is not my intent.  This is about one human being sharing knowledge to nourish and encourage another to become a better version of themselves.

Path to Enlightenment

This year has become a learning experience.  I have learned that I am not alone in this world.  Everyone has their own set of issues that are dealt with in a variety of different ways.  We all have our own coping skills.  In the past, my coping skills have been unhealthy.  As I become more enlightened I plan to view things with a whole new perspective.

Let go of the pain.... you can't live in the pain of the past.  It will eat you alive.  Let it go!

We, as people, struggle to find a balance between living and existing.